The Psychology of Men

Register Now to Attend in Person and/or Get the Video Course

A Happy Marriage always begins with a Woman who is brave, confident, and focused on gaining wisdom.

What if you could build your house like a Wise Woman?

Imagine what your life would be like if ...

  • you and your husband stopped arguing about the same things over and over?
  • he started helping out more around the house ... without being asked?
  • he spent more quality/romantic time with you?
  • he cherished you for who you are?

I imagine you'd feel a lot less anxious and frustrated, and a lot more valued and loved.

And so would he.

He needs you. That's a fact.

The Lord God said, "It's not good for the man to be alone. I will make an ezer kenegdo for him." Genesis 2:18

"... the man was not created because the woman needed him; the woman was created because the man needed her." 1 Corinthians 11:9

So if what we're doing as women isn't helping our men become better, then maybe we should spend some time getting to know what God intends for us to do for them.

  • It's not about cooking, cleaning, or complaining.
  • Nor about being his coach or executive assistant.
  • You are created to be so much more valuable ... and to mean so much more to him!

This One-Day Women's Retreat is a great place to begin your Journey of Discovery!

** BONUS! Attend in-person & get access to the online course for free! **


The Psychology of Men

a One-Day Retreat for Wise Women

August 14 | Orange County, CA
Saturday | 9:30am-5:00pm

Who Should Attend This Retreat?

  • Do you want to be closer to the man you love?
  • Do you consider yourself to be a brave woman?
  • Do you have a bold desire to learn the truth about men?

If you answered "yes," then this retreat is for you!

Because the Wise Woman builds her house,
But with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 14:1

Enjoy a cozy retreat while you gain wisdom about:

  • Masculine differences in physiology and experience
  • The stages of a man’s life and how each stage affects his mindset
  • What a man wants vs. what a man needs from the women in his life
  • How he communicates & what says when he does (or doesn’t) talk
  • The meaning of a man’s sexuality & behavior for himself & his mate
  • Normative developmental trauma & male relational dread
  • How to recognize & partner with his God-given purpose
Attend in Person and/or Get the Video Course

Men are puzzling creatures.

As little boys, they are cute.
charming. adventurous. funny.

However, our perspective changes as they grow up.

  • Their behavior doesn’t make sense.
  • We wonder what they are thinking.
  • Why do they disconnect?

Grown men are confusing ... and far more complex than we realize.

Men Do “Dumb Stuff”

  • Men often do things that frustrate us because they simply don’t make sense.
  • But not so much if you could see deep inside your man’s heart and soul.

What Happens to the Handsome Prince

  • Do fairy tales ever come true? Or do all men turn out to be frogs in disguise?
  • We need to know how to embrace the possibilities rooted in realty.

The Making & Breaking of a Man

  • If women only knew the truth about what breaks a man
  • and what brings healing to his soul, we could change the world!

What a Man Really Needs

  • Men don’t tell us what they need.
  • Often their spoken desires are about avoiding emotions, not about expressing them.
  • As a Wise Woman, however, you can learn to re-engage the man you love.

When You Love a Broken Man

  • Every man experiences “normative developmental trauma.”
  • Many others have experienced additional traumas. Maybe you have, too.
  • Learn to recognize the effects of trauma and how to help with healing … both his and yours.

By participating in this retreat, you will gain Biblical and Psychological understanding of:

  1. how men think
  2. what men are feeling
  3. why men do what they do
  4. how to respond to and encourage men
  5. what makes men stronger husbands and fathers
  6. what Wise Women do to co-create a Beautiful Marriage
  7. how to help men become confident & compassionate leaders

My Qualifications as Your Instructor

I am passionate about helping Christian couples & single adults learn more effective ways to apply Biblical principles & the findings of psychological research to everyday life.

For more than 20 years, I have been counseling men, women & couples. I also provide continuing education for mental health professionals & pastoral counselors who work with couples. 

I earned my Doctor of Psychology degree (PsyD) at Rosemead School of Psychology-Biola University. I have taught psychology courses at MidAmerica Nazarene, Azusa Pacific, & Biola Universities.

You will learn more in one day than you would if you had enrolled in my college course!

For the first half of my life, I was confused by men. Then I studied them in college and grad school. The truth is, men are very different than what most of us have been led to believe.

In fact, my doctoral dissertation at Biola University was on the topic of Mothers and Sons, emphasizing emotional and social development.

Soon after my graduation, I began teaching and shared what I had learned with all my students at Azusa Pacific University.

Daniel Cayem and Brandon Youngblood, two of my most industrious undergraduate students, [pictured here with renowned researcher, Dr. Ronald Levant in 2008] approached me about teaching a full course on The Psychology of Men.

So I submitted a proposal to the University, and this never-before-one-of-its-kind course was born.

Here is the university’s official “Course Description” for PSYC495:

This course provides a brief survey of biblical, sociocultural, and psychological views of traditional men and masculinity that will help women will gain a better understanding of men and help men gain a better understanding of themselves. Particular attention will be given to Attachment Theory and current research in understanding the impact of normative experiences on men’s intrapersonal and interpersonal development. Students enrolled in this course may be required to share information regarding their personal life, family, or relationships. Prerequisites: PSYC 110; PSYC 290

Understanding the truth about men is life-changing.

It was the first time in 8 years my students couldn’t wait to get into the course material.

They didn’t even give me time to review the syllabus before they were asking questions.

And we had more male students than in other psychology courses I’d taught, both at APU & at Biola.

It was an amazing experience.

Melissa wrote:

“I’ve seen men lie to my face, cheat on girls, be disrespectful, underestimate a woman’s ability and so much more.

“When given the in class exercise about writing what men are the first things that came to mind were all the negative things about men.

“I said they were dogs, players, liars, neither genuine nor romantic and the list goes on.

“Then soon after that, I started listing the positive things about men. I said some are respectful, caring, and trustworthy and than I came to realize that basically everything I said before I contradicted myself.

“I’ve been surrounded by friends who had boyfriends where they lie, cheat, and don’t care about a girl’s feelings. I’ve experienced myself being with someone who broke my trust and lied to my face, but yet I find it in myself to forgive him thinking that this perfect man does not exist.

“I hear negative things about men and I feel like it has been instilled in me that all men are like this due to the fact I hear everyone telling me things. I know just because one guy might do something it does not mean that they all do, but I find it hard to find that one guy whom is compatible with you and does not carry these flaws.

“This class is giving me the opportunity to understand men more and to know that not all men are alike."

More Course Feedback

The psych of men class that Dr. Smith offered was a great class filled with much insight on the development of men. Loved every moment of it.

~ Brent Castro, Psych of Men Student

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the paper on Heterosexual Male-Male friendships.

… Being a relatively fatherless male myself, and one who has a dearth (read: absolutely zero) close male friends, I found it was a comprehensive explanations of the difficulty I’ve experienced in making male friends.

I also appreciated the insight into the straight male psyche and how that is influenced by culture.

Men aren’t uncouth, unfeeling troglodytes after all, but sensitive beings capable of intimacy!

A shocking but valuable take away point from that excellent essay.

~ David Davidson, visitor to the class website years later

What Women Are Saying About Our Workshops

Marriage – like dancing – is so much sweeter when partners are in sync. Thank you, Dr. Debi, for providing a fun, informative evening filled with insight into the men in our lives and ways to improve our relationships. I only wish I had been aware of these simple tools years ago. It would have made the bumpy dance floor of life so much smoother!

~ Marilyn

I’ve been telling so many women how your seminar & book saved my marriage. I’m so excited to share this life changing info with all the women in my life.

~ Lisa

Dr. Debi helped me see that I had expectations for my husband based on my own expectations for myself. I expected my husband, who is mentally wired differently, raised differently, processes differently, communicates differently and is even biologically built differently, to act like me, a female. Once I was able to realize those differences, I was able to listen and learn what HE needed from me instead of what I thought he needed. This new outlook opened up new conversations …

~ Emily

Your best "take home" from today?

  • Understanding what beauty is and how much influence women really have.
  • How to influence my husband in a positive way and allowing space for God to work on him.
  • Understanding men and women are different, processing emotions – will try this, a woman can influence a man.
  • The reminder and confirmation of the gift women have of influence and how to use it the way God’s designed.
  • Love hearing all your wisdom about men. Helps me soften my heart and want to show compassion towards my husband and son.

What are you waiting for?

This workshop will provide you with the information & tools you need to understand & improve your relationships with men at any stage.

You have 3 options:

  • In-person Registration for one + access to online course for one
  • Bring-a-friend discount in-person for two + access to online course for two
  • Pre-order access to the online course for one (price will increase after the retreat!)
Register Now

Workshop Disclaimer

Dr. Smith is a Clinical Psychologist. However, registration for this event does not establish a therapist-client relationship with her. The information provided through this event is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace a professional evaluation or treatment for emotional and relational concerns. If you are experiencing severe distress and/or believe you may be a victim of domestic violence, please contact a licensed mental health professional for assistance. If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.